[10:49] jakothewoods: We're having mushed up sunflower seeds, onion, carrot and celery, all mushed together and then dried out, for lunch! :)
[10:50] wdalphin: Sounds nasty.
[10:51] jakothewoods: it's oversimplified. You actually make patties out of this stuff, which has more in it than just that, and it's like veggie burgers.
[10:51] wdalphin: It still sounds nasty.
[10:52] jakothewoods: so does chicken and ketchup. But it -tastes- good.
[10:53] wdalphin: I don't believe you, and chicken and ketchup do not sound nasty.
[10:54] wdalphin: Onions do.
[10:54] jakothewoods: they don't sund nasty to you, because you know they're tasty. But to someone who has not had it, it sounds overdone. In any case, you're not allowed an opinion concerning sunburgers until you've -tried- them. :)
[10:55] wdalphin: I am allowed the opinion that the description of them sounds gross, and I don't like onions in ANYTHING.
[10:56] jakothewoods: I expect you've eaten onions before, and been unaware of it, and found whatever it was they were in just fine. :p
[10:57] wdalphin: No.
[10:57] wdalphin: I am *ALWAYS* aware of onions.
[11:00] wdalphin: Are we here to discuss The Squid and the Whale?
[11:00] jakothewoods: I love my wife. She's so oblivious to some things. :-D
[11:02] jakothewoods: Sure. A japanese nautical tale about the love affair between an angsty teenage whale, and the licivious squid who seduces her.
[11:03] wdalphin: licivious?
[11:03] wdalphin: I challenge.
[11:03] wdalphin: lascivious?
[11:04] jakothewoods: it's early, I'm hungry, and we're not playing scrabble. You or I can correct the spelling in post-production.
[11:04] wdalphin: I hate post production edits. :-\
[11:04] wdalphin: they're a pain in my ass.
[11:05] jakothewoods: I'll do it. I went through and changed some spelling errors last time. :)
[11:05] wdalphin: whatever, anyway... uh, so the movie was short.
[11:05] wdalphin: It wasn't even an hour and a half long.
[11:06] jakothewoods: Was it? I didn't notice. It was rather intense.
[11:06] jakothewoods: The chase scene itself kept me riveted.
[11:06] wdalphin: I waited through the credits, in case they had accidentally been misplaced into the middle of the film.
[11:07] jakothewoods: I liked it. I thought it was one worth owning. I liked the humanity of the characters, even though if you focused, you really could tell the difference between the husband, who was an arrogant prick, and the wife, who simply was sad and lonely, and made mistakes.
[11:08] wdalphin: It was okay. I could have done without one or two of the semen smearing scenes, and especially when the kid was drunk and lying on the bathroom floor and sneezed into his hand. I can't get the sight of that giant snotball out of my mind.
[11:09] jakothewoods: It was a cashew. Possibly the one he'd stuck up his nose in the beginning of the movie.
[11:09] jakothewoods: The semen scenes were a bit awkward, but they were there to show how screwed up the kid was. :)
[11:10] wdalphin: oh lovely. It didn't look like snot, but I couldn't figure that it was anything else. It was gross.
[11:10] wdalphin: The whole family was screwed up.
[11:11] wdalphin: It was like an entire family lacking inner monologue.
[11:11] wdalphin: If their brains thought it, their mouths worded it. They had no ability to reason out what was and wasn't okay to say.
[11:12] jakothewoods: they did seem to be in need of filters. Although arguably, the mother was the sanest of them.
[11:13] wdalphin: Yeah, but she had the total opposite problem... she apparently was unwilling to talk to the husband. Probably because he was so extremely judgmental and critical.
[11:13] wdalphin: The only person I really liked was Ivan.
[11:14] wdalphin: Isn't that sad?
[11:14] wdalphin: The only likeable character was played by WILLIAM BALDWIN.
[11:14] wdalphin: *boggle*
[11:14] jakothewoods: Yeaeh, Put yourself in her place. If you say anything to him, he's going to spout egomaniacal pseudo-intellectia at you. I'd clam up too.
[11:14] jakothewoods: I never bothered to look up which Baldwin it was - they all look the same to me. He was a good guy though, yeah.
[11:15] wdalphin: It was obviously William Baldwin. They're all easily identifiable.
[11:15] jakothewoods: only if you care. :)
[11:15] wdalphin: Or if you pay attention. :P
[11:16] jakothewoods: I like to think I have better uses for my time than paying enough attention to determine which Baldwin-clone I'm observing.
[11:17] wdalphin: It was interesting how the older son so readily accepted everything the father would say... to the point that he'd refuse to read books if his father didn't like them, and would spout off whatever his father had told him about a book instead of reading it for himself.
[11:19] jakothewoods: Yeah, he was actually -becoming- his father, with his arrogence directed toward anyone who didn't have a PhD. and his rather selfish need to "find a better situation." Only he was even less justified in his attitude, because he HADN'T read whatever book, and he himself DIDN'T have a PhD. He was riding on the coattails of his father. But I'd have to say that if there was one identifiaable protaganist of this movie, he was it - he was the most dynamic of the family, movie back from his acceptance of his father, to a more questioning attitude, and facing his long-time fear.
[11:21] wdalphin: Also, his need to be praised by his father, to the point that he claimed the work of others as his own because it impressed his father... he wanted his father to think of him as successful and artistic, possibly because of the way the father treated the younger brother, who finally decided he was just going to be a "philistine". He desperately wanted his father's approval, even though he was unwilling to earn it.
[11:23] jakothewoods: I liked The younger brother. I mean, as you said before, they all had problems, and I thought it was somewhat amusing how he was almost ALWAYS drinking (in a horrified "haha" sort of way), but he seemed to be the most accepting of the situation, ultimately. He didn't NEED to change, or clear the caul from his eyes, because he was like the willow bending before the storm. He had no inner demons to face, so he just let himself be himself, and let the situation unfold around him.
[11:24] jakothewoods: Did you notice the father's need to "claim" everything? "That's my Television, I bought it when we were dating." and when he had the older brother steal the mom's books?
[11:24] wdalphin: that just said to me that the father had a very organized mind, and that he was also very selfish. There was no "our" in his mind, things wither either his, or not his. And he kept it all categorized in his mind.
[11:26] jakothewoods: Yes, but if you remember, the mom hid some of those books initially, so that he -wouldn't- take them, because she knew that he'd claim they were his. I'd say that you were on the right track, but that he had some need to claim even those things that weren't his, because then he could "own" things that had been hers.
[11:26] wdalphin: it was quite clear that the older son was totally devoted to the father... like when the father and the younger son were circling the block, and the younger son asked to be dropped off... the father said, "no, you can keep me company". When it was the older brother in the car, he just automatically volunteered to keep the father company... as if the father had to be told that he was doing it... to promote a positive bond.
[11:27] wdalphin: Well yeah, he still wanted things to work out. He wanted nothing to change between them... to the point that he'd let her keep having affairs, even though he knew about them for years and years.
[11:27] jakothewoods: I found the father annoying. I mean, yes, I felt for him - his wife cheated on him, and that wasn't nice. And he was lonely, yes. But a lot of his situation was his own fault. He was very needy and immature, when you got right down to it. He had to be the center of attention, and when he wasn't, he either fought to become it, or he dismissed whoever -was- the center of attention as somehow inferior to him.
[11:28] wdalphin: I don't think he needed to be the center of attention... he had a lot of opinions though, and he felt that his opinion was the only one that mattered.
[11:28] jakothewoods: I have a personal question. :)
[11:29] wdalphin: No, I never smeared semen around my school like the younger son did.
[11:29] jakothewoods: Are you a philistine?
[11:29] wdalphin: Obviously not, considering I came up with the idea for these movie reviews.
[11:30] jakothewoods: I think I'm a philistine.
[11:30] wdalphin: I think you read too much to be a philistine.
[11:31] jakothewoods: Ah, but it's not that I read, but what I read that defines... philistinianism? I read pulp fiction, dragon magazine, gaming books, and James Herriot.
[11:33] wdalphin: it is not the quality of the art that defines you, it is whether you appreciate it that makes you a philistine.
[11:34] jakothewoods: So a philistine is someone who simply experiences, without analysing the experience?
[11:34] wdalphin: If you like music, like movies, like books, you aren't a philistine. For example, Ivan was a philistine to the father, because as far as the father knew, he didn't read, didn't listen to music, didn't watch movies... he just played tennis and dated the wife.
[11:34] wdalphin: I said appreciate it.
[11:34] wdalphin: if you appreciate any form of art, you're not a philistine. You seem to think the quality of the art is what matters, but it isn't.
[11:35] wdalphin: It doesn't matter if you worship Mark Twain, or like to read pulp novels.
[11:35] jakothewoods: I think the father was a Philistine. because he didn't appreciate the art any more than anyone else, he simply used it to make himself look more erudite.
[11:36] wdalphin: he seemed to appreciate certain Dickens storys.
[11:36] wdalphin: brb, mutter to yourself for a bit.
[11:36] jakothewoods: I just didn't like the father, when you get down to brass tacks. I think he would have benefitted from a hefty regimen of electro-shock therapy.
[11:38] jakothewoods: I actually had difficulty believing that the father could function in society, with as little respect as he had for seemingly everyone in it.
[11:40] jakothewoods: I found myself hoping that the father would get beat up by Ivan or something.
[11:42] wdalphin: back.
[11:42] wdalphin: I didn't like any of them.
[11:42] wdalphin: Like I said, I only like Ivan.
[11:43] jakothewoods: I liked the little brother. He began to be like Ivan.
[11:43] wdalphin: No, I didn't like him either. He was a future alcoholic, and was gross.
[11:44] jakothewoods: Nothing wrong with a little alcoholism. *hic*
[11:45] wdalphin: he smeared semen on library books and people's lockers. He was masturbating to his mother's underwear, and he stuck cashews up his nose. He was gross.
[11:46] jakothewoods: *shrugs* Steph claims all boys are gross. It's just a matter of degree then. :)
[11:47] wdalphin: suck my dick, assman.
[11:47] jakothewoods: see? That's gross. :)
[11:48] wdalphin: yes, and he was always saying that.
[11:48] jakothewoods: And me and my digestive system are gross.
[11:48] jakothewoods: And you and your penchant for buggery are gross.
[11:48] jakothewoods: We're all gross!
[11:48] jakothewoods: Let us revel in our grossness.
[11:48] wdalphin: I don't bugger anything. That's libel.
[11:50] wdalphin: you take that back.
[11:51] jakothewoods: technically it's slander until you put this up on your webpage. :)
[11:51] wdalphin: it's not slander if it's in writing.
[11:52] jakothewoods: Your understanding of the difference between slander and libel is a bit skewed. It's not an exact science, but it's reliant upon publication more than anything. :) It's slander right now, trust me.
[11:53] wdalphin: I knew you'd try to claim a publishing defense. From the dictionary: "a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression "
[11:53] wdalphin: it can ALSO mean published work.
[11:53] jakothewoods: look it up on dictionary.com. I'm fairly certain a judge would rule in my favour if you tried to claim libel.
[11:54] wdalphin: If I can produce it in writing, it's libel. :P
[11:55] wdalphin: anyway...
[11:55] wdalphin: I watched Undead also this weekend.
[11:55] jakothewoods: How is the buggery business, anyway? :)
[11:56] jakothewoods: Hey, at least I didn't say it was pre-teen buggery. ;)
[11:56] wdalphin: You tell me. You live in Sodom.
[11:56] jakothewoods: I live in Gomorrah. Sodom is too wet.
[11:56] wdalphin: You don't like it wet, eh?
[11:57] jakothewoods: I like a dry cold. Wet cold leads to too many snowball fights.
[11:57] wdalphin: O_o
[11:57] wdalphin: Now THAT is gross.
[11:58] wdalphin: some sort of BJ food fight thing, huh?
[11:58] jakothewoods: Something like. :)
[12:00] jakothewoods: Anyway, rather than annoying or hateful, I found the entire family mostly sad. they filled me witha deep sadness.
[12:00] jakothewoods: Oh, did you get the thing about the squid and the whale?
[12:01] wdalphin: huh? the thing?
[12:02] jakothewoods: yeah, the metaphor.
[12:02] wdalphin: you mean the movie, or the squid and the whale in the museum?
[12:04] jakothewoods: methinks you didn't get it.
[12:04] jakothewoods: The mom and the dad were the Squid and the Whale.
[12:04] wdalphin: the squid has lots of arms, and it chokes the life out of the whale, even as the whale tries to eat the squid as nourishment. Much like the mother choking the father even as he nourishes himself on her?
[12:04] wdalphin: two entities, battling each other endlessly?
[12:04] jakothewoods: I think you're being a tad too literal, but that's the idea.
[12:04] jakothewoods: that's the one
[12:06] wdalphin: Much like the episode of Star Trek where the Enterprise stumbled upon the guy who was fighting with a version of himself from an alternate universe. If the two ever met in one universe, they would destroy it, but the machine they used to swap places had a middle ground where they could fight, so the good version pulled the evil version into that neutral area, and the Enterprise destroyed the ship, trapping them forever.
[12:07] jakothewoods: The Lazarus effect.
[12:07] jakothewoods: I believe that was the title of the episode.
[12:08] jakothewoods: Yeah, kinda like that.
[12:08] wdalphin: his name was Lazarus, yes.
[12:08] wdalphin: The Alternative Factor was the episode
[12:08] jakothewoods: was it? Are you sure?
[12:08] wdalphin: YES.
[12:08] jakothewoods: okay.
[12:09] wdalphin: I have to go grab lunch... are we done discussing the movie, or did you want to continue later?
[12:09] wdalphin: 3 stars, I give it.
[12:09] wdalphin: tick tock
[12:09] wdalphin: tick tock
[12:09] wdalphin: food... people are waiting for me.
[12:09] wdalphin: Need a response.
[12:09] jakothewoods: Sorry. I gave the movie five stars. I liked it. I want to own it. :)
[12:09] wdalphin: let's just pick this up later.
[12:10] wdalphin: bbl
[12:10] jakothewoods: kay

Later that same day...

[13:07] wdalphin: back
[13:08] jakothewoods: I'm on my way out to get gretta an oil change. :) But I give the movie 5 stars! It's great. Everyone should watch it, especially drunk!
[13:08] wdalphin: alright. I guess that's it.
[13:08] wdalphin: what's up for next week?
[13:08] jakothewoods: it doesn't have monkeys, but it does have a squid and a qhale.
[13:08] jakothewoods: I don't know, Your choice.
[13:09] wdalphin: no, it's yourturn.
[13:09] wdalphin: I picked Bloodrayne, which was essentially supposed to be this week's choice.
[13:11] jakothewoods: hang, computer's running slow... okay, have you seen SpaceCamp?
[13:11] wdalphin: no.
[13:11] jakothewoods: well then, you're gonna see it now.
[13:11] wdalphin: alrighty
[13:11] jakothewoods: :-D
[13:12] jakothewoods: okay, I gotta go. Steph is looming.
[13:12] wdalphin: have fun!
[13:12] jakothewoods: ta!

Conclusion:
Jak: *****
Wil: ***